Used To

I used to be happy everyday no matter what happened.

I used to wait beside the phone everyday.

I used to sleep late.

I used to wake late.

I used to walk by the park.

I used to see happiness in everything.

I used to thank god for everything.

I used to care about nothing else.

I used to love to sms.

I used to sleep grasping my phone.

I used to sms rm 90 every month.

I used to feel happy while im in school.

I used to stare at you while your listening in class.

I used to smile when you're called to answer questions, while laughing all the way.

I used to smile while sleeping.

I used to sms 24/7.

I used to live enthusiasticly.

I used to be really happy.

I used to be really really happy.

We used to talk about mr. coconut through the phone.

We used to talk while laughing all the way.

We used to chat alot.

We used to be really close friends.

Or at least, 

I used to think of you as a really close friend. 

All that happened, became 'used to' s

I miss those days.

 

And if I was given the chance, 

i would relive those days once more,

and cherish everyday.

I miss those days.

-Max-

My most awkward appearance in gurney.

27th of April 2008

That day, early in the morning before i went for tennis lessons, my mum told me that we had to take family photos that day, in GP, so i was like, ok, that's no problem. Then she added another sentence, i want you to wear ur long sleeve shirt, pants, and a tie. 

I was like, stunned there for 5 seconds. 

I mean, id be ok if we were going to a dinner or some event, but GP! 

walking in GP for 5 hours, with a long sleeve shirt, pants, and a tie. 

But, after i was there for arnd 2 hours, it didn't feel THAT awkward anymore, and later, i took of my tie and folded my sleeves. xDDD 

That felt a whole lot better.

 ^^

Here's some photos

xD

^^

-Max-

Snow

It was  winter, he was standing in the midst of the rushing crowd, he felt nothing.

It was winter, he was standing in the midst of the leafless trees, he felt better.

It was an isle, nature's isle, constructed by two lines of leafless trees, and decorated by snow. It beautified the trees, the flowers, the lane, it beautified everything. The white touch, the whiteness, everything about it seemed beautiful. 

He sat on a bench, admiring the beauty of nature. Suddenly, he felt lonely. 

He turned around, and saw a couple on another bench, they were gazing at each other, their face showed happiness that no words can describe, their hands holding tight, as if if they loosen it, the other will go away. 

It was snowing,

The guy swiped away the snow on the girls hair, 

And the girl blew of the snow on the guy's shoulder.

And they kissed.

He sat there still,

even until the couple left, 

he sat there, 

he felt lonely,

he had friends, 

but he wanted love.

He had a near love experience, 

but it melted like snow to water.

It was still snowing,

he felt something on his hand, 

it was cold,

it was his tears.

-Max-

 

Whole Night Sigging

7.30pm     = sigging

8pm          = sigging

9pm          = sigging

10pm        = ate a mango

10.05 pm = sigging

11pm        =sigging

Yeah, as the table above said, i spent my whole 25th of April night sigging, or to be precise, learning sigs. xD

By now, I'm half- asleep, cant type alot, I'll just show you guys my 2 new and a few old sigs.  xD

Z_z

One of my latest sig. Also the second header i've done. 

My first Animation Sun/Fire Ball

The Prince of Persia My 3rd Sig

Fallen Angel My 4th Sig

Itachi-Genjutsu My 2nd Sig

Inner Rage My first Sig.

Gara. Well i think i dont have to describe this, you guys already know.

Stupidity

Today, reading my friend, 

Dark's Post, 

made me think of my primary days. 

And what stupid things i did. 

This is my blog about my life, 

So i wont keep any secrets, 

I'll reveal anything about myself.

And back to the main point, 

It made me think of the stupid things i did while in primary school.

And so, now, I'm gona write what stupid things i did, 

from what i remember,

to now. 

1. The stupidest thing that i did, and the action that made me guilty for three straight days, is when i had a little fight with a girl when i was standard six. So i decided to take revenge, and i pulled her chair when she sat down. Eventually, she fell, and that time i was like, "omg, what have i done!"

And guess what happened next. 

Her friends wanted to report to the discipline teacher, but she stopped her friends from doing that. That made me feel worse. She didn't look at me, or talk to me for three days. It felt terrible. I remember saying sorry, but she didn't reply me. What's worse, we were quite close friends, and she sat in front of me. 

Even now, after 3 years, the image of her falling down in front of me, makes my heart ache. 

2. The other stupid thing i did was....

Well, i attended an English and BM tuition while i was standard four, and the teacher gave us homework. I was too lazy to do it, so I took the book and papers to the toilet, and threw it outside the window. After 4 days, the teacher called my mum, and said that her husband had saw the papers. I got scolded really badly. xD

3. The last stupid thing i could remember me doing is....

Well, when i first became a teenager, i really wanted to try how was is like to have a girlfriend, and so, and I didn't really understand the meaning of, what do you call.....Love. 

So, i got along really well girl, I knew her since I was in primary school. We chatted quite alot, via sms, phone calls, msn, so as time passed by, I thought i loved her, so i started to, you know, trying to have a evolve from friends to something else. In form 2, finally, we started a relationship, but it didn't last for a long time, just a mere 3 weeks. And after quite some time, i looked back, and analyzed my feeling, and i found out that i didn't really love her, I mean, i like her as a friend, just like every other friends. I think i just wanted to try out how it felt. Now thinking back, it felt quite stupid. xD

Actually, I have alot more, its just that my mind is kinda blank now, so i'll stop here. Hoped you enjoyed another sneak peak of my life. xD

-Max-

Starfish Story - A difference a day.

One Day, A man was walking along the beach.

When he noticed a figure in the distance.

As he got closer,

He realized the figure was that of a boy picking something up,

and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy,

he asked,

"What are you doing?"

The youth replied,

"Throwing a starfish into the ocean"

"Soon the sun is up and the tide is going down"

"If I don't throw them back, they'll die"

"Son" The man said.

"Don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach, and hundred of starfish?"

"You can't possibly make a difference!"

After listening politely,

the boy bent down,

picked up another starfish,

and threw it into the surf.

Then, smiling at the man,

he said,

"I made a difference for that one"

A simple act of kindness.

can make a difference.

Whoever you are,

Wherever you are,

You can make a Difference. 

To your Families,

To your Friends,

Even to Unfamiliar Faces.

Sometimes, 

We feel that we are insignificant like the little boy....

Yet, 

Just like the little boy who picked up a starfish,

the simple act of kindness made a whole lot of difference to the starfish.

When you make a little smile to another person,

be it your Family,

Friends, 

or Strangers you meet,

you made a great difference to them.

A simple little action can make a big difference to someone you care about.

Saving a starfish is the metaphor of this little action.

Let's make a difference now.

From today onwards. 

                  - A video in youtube- 

Of Personalities

Personality is what all humans have,

some people say that Im different when Im online, 

or when Im talking to girls.

I've heard easily more than a hundred times people criticizing someone of being fake.

Personally I dont think it's a normal routine for people to be fake,

I would describe fake as trying to be like someone that suits the other person, 

while the difference in the way u treat people,

or talk to someone,

or even how you act, 

is actually which part of your personality that you choose to show, 

which part of personality that you choose to conceal.

That's why you see some people say, 

'I feel natural with my best friends'

Why? 

Because with best friends, 

you dont conceal anything, 

you show the fullest part of yourself.

Ever heard of people saying that having a relationship is tiring?

Do you know why'd they say that?

I think after reading what i said just now,

you should be able to get the answer.

If you cant, 

It's here.

Most teenagers choose to show the best part of their personality to their girlfriends or boyfriends.

Won't it be tiring to show only the  best part of you for so long?

Would you tell your gf/bf about the bad things you do?

I dont think so.

I would say that if a couple completely, 

I mean completely dont conceal anything among the two, 

their relationship would last a year longer than forever. 

I have never revealed every part of me to someone,

but i did choose which part of my personality to be shown,

and i have showed someone the best of me, 

still, i wished there will be a day that i will be able to reveal every part of my personality to someone, 

and I will have a relationship, 

that will last a year longer than forever. 

^^

-Max- 

The Razer

In a Box

The luminous button is just too beautiful.

The Front View

See the lines? So sleek

Side diagonal view

Still in a Box. Quite attractive.

It's been 4 days since i used the Razer DiamondBack Frost Blue mouse, and I'm really really really satisfied of it's performance, it's sensitivity is so fast u can see the cursor move, and it's really comfortable, the grip perfectly suits my hand and the buttons are really shallow and nice to click. And it looks nice, (although not as nice as the copperhead). 

I bought my mouse during the pc fair and it was sold with a really good price. RM150. My friend nearly cried when he heard this, he bought his deathadder with rm200-300. xDDD

And there's the mantis, also knowned as mouse pad. I tell you, i have never used such a nice mouse pad, its mat, but still it lets u move so so so freely, its a mouse pad i'd recommend to everyone, i don't have it, cause its too expensive. RM 85 (best price)

The reason i posted this post is because there were alot of my friends that wanted to know if the razer is good. So here it is ! 

xD

 

Razer DiamondBack FrostBlue 1800dpi 3G infrared sensor, 7 buttons, 5.8 mp per sec.

rating by me: 

97/100

Pros: Fast, comfortable grip, shallow clicks, a lot of buttons, beautiful.

Cons: Doesn't have a driver for Macintosh, the razor logo isnt luminous.

Highly recommended .

-Max-

Flabbergasted

Ever seen some particular people and got flabbergasted? 

I have never seen people that would actually make me like that. 

Before today. 

It was a usual BM period, and the teacher was talking about komsas and all, suddenly, cikgu Tan Lon Eng came in and asked who wanted to go watch the debate competition that was held in the stadium. Without further consideration, i raised my hand up, because i couldn't stand the boredom in the BM class. 

And when i went out, I found out that I was tricked....

The students that went out, had to participate in debate competitions next year... if not, Dimerit Kecil. 

T.T

But i felt ok, because not only I was tricked, but there was also, Dickson Lim, Eric Tan, Soo Liang, Chen Zen and all. xDDD

So we went in and they started to debate,

They started for around 10 minutes, and i sat there, like a retard, feeling that i'm a retard, and convincing myself that i'm a retard. 

Why?

because every debater had to talk 8 minutes, non stop, and every second, they said 2-3 words.

Btw, its a chinese debate. 

So let us count :

1 second=2 words 

1 minute = 60 seconds

8 minutes=480 seconds

480 seconds = 960 words.

omg. 

And in the end, the SMK got champion.

I repeat, SMK

SMK!!!

Chung Ling penang and butterworth + Pcghs got owned! By a SMK

SMK Bagan Jaya. 

If not mistaken. xD

I bet the school debate team is gona get some scolding. xDDD

-Max-

Dreams

22 April 2008 6.35a.m.

I just woke up, from a terrible, yet sad dream.

Our whole family were out for dinner, then, we went to a shopping complex, before long, everyone was running towards the exit, we turned around, and saw there were alot of zombies slowly walking and chasing us. 

We ran out of the place, and moved on to safety, there, a guide guided us. We had a meal there, then there was lightning, the moon only came out for a split second, and it was in a weird shape. Me and the guide knew there was something amiss, so we started to run away, but my parents wouldn't move, they said they were too tired to move, i begged them but they wouldn't, the guide pushed me, i had to move on, I was crying, then i woke up. Tears was on my eyes. 

Then i slept again.

We were on a place where there was zombies....again.

This time, I was with a few friends, and a couple i didn't recognize, we moved to an apartment, the girl was too tired to climb up the stairs, so i brought her up,  somehow, in the dream, i felt some affection towards her, then, we started an in dream relationship. Then when we reached a town, she suddenly disappeared, and i saw on a wall, there were alot of photos, one of them, was the girl, with a guy,  on the right bottom corner. : 21/4/1978

I cried again. 

Then I was a guy, wandering with no target. 

Then i woke up.

-Max- 

Just woke up, in a terrible state. 

And im late.

Laughter-Smile

A couple of days ago,

I went to PC FAIR with a couple of friends, we walked without any specific target, just walked and walked. The different thing between us is.....the girl laughed and smiled a lot more than us. 

Then i started thinking, why do some people laugh or smile alot more than normal? I started to think of a few possibilities, and came out with a conclusion:

1. They're Laughing Fakely, just to make people think their Happy Go Lucky.

2. They eat too much chocolates. ( It produce endorphin for your brain to make you happy)

3. They have nothing to worry about.  (Omg, teenagers that have nothing to worry about, i      thought they were extinct!)

4.They have loads of things to be happy about. (Love Life? Family?)

5. They just struck the lottery. ( -.- )

I still cant find one best reason, number 5 is out. Obviously. -.0

Well, for me, i don't be moody, or emotionless, (like icy-Sasuke), but i dont laugh alot either. Ok, maybe i do, but after that, when i think of this messed up life of mine, i cant smile anymore. 

Sad eh,

Questions Swirling Round And Round :

How can some people laugh so much. 

-Max-

Personal Feelings Diary 2

Normal Blog

21 April 2008

Monday

Yes, its a Monday

Ever heard of Monday Blues? 

So, obviously, everyone was blue, especially icy sasuke. xD

Dont understand ? 

Fine.

Well, it was a normal MONDAY as usual, started of with a normal breakfast, waiting for the usual and normal car to fetch me, walking on the normal route to class, sitting down normally as usual, then when sean came, we chatted normally as usual, then the class started. 

Class Stand.

Good Morning Teacher.

Sit down.

Started to chat again. 

As usual. 

The day practically when on like this. 

Is this post Boring?

I guess 105 over 100 people would say yes. (additional 5?)

Now, i think u all get the point. 

That i am actually trying to express.....

That my Life is Boring. 

As usual. 

-Max-

21 April 2008

Not too long ago, 

In a not too far away land,

There lived a creature.

He was not nice looking,

Nor was he multi talented.

He lived a life which consisted of other normal creature friends.

He had no best friend,

And so he didn't know what it feels like to have one.

On a brand new year,

He started his day with a stroll to the forest,

And he met a beautiful fairy,

She had eyes that could charm anything,

She had a body that would make peacocks jealous,

She had a smile that would make a wilt flower bloom once more,

She reached her hand to the creature,

And they started a friendship.

Everyday, 

They would meet everyday under the largest tree in the forest,

They would talk about everything,

Finally,

The creature knew how it felt to have a best friend,

He was rejoiced.

As the days passed,

The creature had a weird feeling towards the fairy,

It was a strange feeling,

Yet,

It was a strong feeling.

He didn't know what was that feeling.

Slowly, 

He found out that the feeling was,

Indeed,

Love.

Afraid to lose the friendship they had,

The creature kept quiet.

His feelings were hidden in the darkest corner of his heart.

It was painful for him, 

He didn't like to hide it,

Yet,

He did,

For the sake of the friendship.

A spring, summer, autumn, winter went pass.

It was another spring, 

It has been a year, 

Since they met for the first time.

For some reason,

The amount times they get to meet,

Decreased.

Afraid that they would slowly stop meeting each other,

The creature decided that it was time to tell the fairy,

And so he told.

The fairy refused to accept his love.

He was angry,

While sad at the same time,

He never felt this sad before,

And so they had a quarrel, 

The fairy never appeared, 

Ever again.

The creature regretted,

He hated himself for how he acted,

How he reacted,

He wanted to say sorry,

For everything,

He yelled out under the tree to say how he was sorry,

How he regretted,

But still,

The fairy wouldn't appear.

Another spring, summer, autumn and winter past.

On a normal day like other,

The fairy appeared,

The two met, 

And they became friends again,

Forgetting about what happened.

Again, 

They met every day,

Under the ancient tree,

Just like the old days,

They talked about everything.

For a few weeks,

The creature tried his very best to be in his best attitude,

Tried the very best to make their friendship last,

Because he was really scared that what happened will happen again.

He really tried his best,

Waiting under the tree everyday to meet her.

Despite his effort,

The girl started to appear less and less,

He wouldn't ask her,

For he was afraid that it would make her irritated,

He was crying inside,

While smiling outside.

Although the fairy rarely appears anymore,

He made a decision,

To wait for her everyday, 

And cherish the time with her when she appears,

That is the only way the creature can think of.

And that is the only thing the creature can do.

Until now,

The creature still waits under the ancient tree everyday.

Looking Back

It was 11.20p.m., I had nothing better to do so I scrolled through a few friend's profile, with the song : "Close To You" on my speaker. 

Click Profile. Scan About me. Click Photos. Click Home. 

Click Profile. Scan About me. Click Photos. Click Home.

Click Profile. Scan About me. Click Photos. Click Home.

Click Profile. Scan About me. Click Photos. Click Home.

Click Profile. Pause. A friend from primary school came in to sight at the featured friend part, Click.

Click Photos. 

I scrolled through all the photos, and i felt, that, in the 2 years and a few months, a lot of things happened in everyone's life, new friends made, some friends lost, a lot of new experience, and went through a whole lot of things. The primary school days seemed far far away, some friend's personality changed, while some stayed nearly the same. Occasionally, we had conversations, but not much. Suddenly, i started to miss the primary school days, when we could do anything that came up to our mind, never caring about how others see us, how others felt about us, and all the friends then. 

Just before we graduated from primary school, we had 2 trips, an eco-camp to the penang hill and a trip to Genting Highlands. 

I remember the last night of the eco-camp, we were divided to two groups, then, the teacher of each group distributed lighted candles to us, then we sat down on the floor, outdoors without a single light on. I can still feel the sound of the insects, the fresh cool breeze.

 The teacher asked us to say how we felt during the primary school days, and how we felt these few days. No one volunteered, so the teachers started first, the 20++ year old teacher talked about what we went through during the 3 days of camp, how we made bond between everyone, and a lot of others, then, he broke down, and all of the people there did too. I turned, to my right, saw a girl in my class, we saw each other with tears, and we laughed. It was a memorable night, I think that I wont be able to forget that night.

The stars were shining brightly,

The stars are shining brightly,

I wonder are those stars the same as the ones 1 saw 2 years ago.

They blinked.

-Max- 

First personal diary of feelings. 

The 16th of April 2008

Today, a memorable day, maybe after a few winter and springs, I'll look back and I'll remember this day,  the 16th of April 2008. Yes it is, today,

My first time blogging on blogspot. 

xD

Well, actually, i have blogged on blogspot before, its just that, that's actually not a blog, but a, well, some kind of novel. Its URL is www.maxcrux-trinity.blogspot.com.

Ok, enough of the introduction.

16th April 2008

Student attending class : 35/39

Lepak? No way, I mean, we're obedient little CLHS students right? *grins*

Lol, actually, there's a motivation camp today, and 4 students from our class, including me, participated in it. 

Motivation Camp!  

Ohya, The lot shouted all kinds of quotes : We're A star student!  and many many more. 

But there stood a small group of boys, who didn't show as much enthusiasm as the others, the four. From 3TA3. 

The motivation was a success at first. AT FIRST. Then it became more and more boring, and more and more people started to not listen and just went on to their own fantasy. ( I wonder which type of fantasy). ^^

After the tiring hours, lunch time came, and before that, they advertised their books, which is RM30 per book. Absurd! I mean, they're paid tens of thousands to give us a talk, yet, they take the opportunity to advertise, a waste of out time. And what's more, they added: If you buy it here, you'll get a free signature by the lecturer, and also a photo with her! -.= wth....

Then in the afternoon, the indoor games came, guess what it was. Drama, with guys acting as girls, with balloons on their chest, and a few, unnecessary scenes. At first, we kinda enjoyed it, then, we got sick of it. It became more and more disgusting, and i couldn't help it, I couldn't endure it anymore. I left. Actually, its just like half and hour earlier, well, better than staying for another 1800 seconds. 

I left, with relieve. pheew. An experience I wont forget. 

And btw, I don't feel motivated. 

I guess that's all for today. 

xD