Doubt Kills

Today,

Some part of me started to doubt,

There are parts where I couldn't understand,

That I thought was illogical.

Then there was another part of me,

That defended it.

The faith, that i had put in, started to protest,

It's like a war inside.

I have always believed,

but then there are too many questions,

why can't we just get the answers?

I don't really know what to do,

The things I've changed for,

The habits I've tried so hard to develop,

I don't know should I or should I not do it anymore.

So much trust I've put in, why?

So much trust I've put in, should I have?

So much trust I've put in, was it worth?

Maybe because I believed,

This part of me is still calling me to go back,

that it's real,

Crying for me to go back.

I just wish I was a guy who knew no logic,

then I didn't need to doubt.

I searched the web, but i couldn't find an answer to supply me with enough proof.

If i turn back now, I won't ever be the same anymore,

I won't believe as faithfully as I've been,

the knot is still untied,

I can't understand,

I can't believe,

I can't or I won't want to believe.

You don't know how painful, how torturing, is it to fight inside,

to struggle with myself,

to believe, or not to believe.

I'll be searching.

For the answer.