I'm sad damn it.

i care. why

I was so convinced that I didn't like her at all, that all was just an misunderstood admiration. but why do i feel sad to see her in a relationship?

I don't think I like her.

But I feel unsecured for her.

Maybe it's just me knowing that she believes in people too easily that makes me worry.

Or her not being able to cope with disappointment,

Or her not being able to understand what people's really thinking,

Or her different perspective of life.

Or her innocent thoughts,

I know you're not gonna see this, but still, be well.

I'm not there for you anymore.

It's funny how it works,

I care for her so much. Yet I don't like her, what's this state called?

Maybe it's just that she's like a pure innocent thinking girl that I cannot bear to see fall.

i care.

i really do.

And it all started with a smile.

I hope everything will be fine. for you.

May God bless you,

really.

lol.

It's been quite a long time since I've got this feeling. feels a bit, different.

I barely know you, maybe a bit. but it stops there.

Why do I feel a pang of sadness when I knew there were others liking you?

Why do i lose motivation to move forward towards you?

Haha, I sound so damn childish.

and when i thought these days were over.

ha!

血与雪

心流着血，

躺在血泊中，

朱红的血渗透了洁白的雪，

心跳逐渐慢了，

眼睛也慢慢沉重了，

眼前的雪花好美，

轻轻的掉落到我脸颊，

溶了，

分不出哪滴是泪，

哪滴是雪，

冬天亦美，

亦残酷。

缓慢着流着的血，

是在让我多望这世界几眼，

还是在让我感受这痛苦？

冰冷的风吹过，

带走了我的生命，

也带走了我一切忧愁。

the feeling before midnight.

I feel terrible.

I didn't feel any pressure from exams until now, which is 2 days from it.

The pressure comes down in one go,

finally in study mood, but only have 24 hours to go, sleep time included.

Chem. Phy. Bio. AMaths. Maths. Sej.

awesome.

I hate myself.

Shinjuku Incident

This has got to be the most disturbing movie I've seen. The last few were Jean of Ark and New Police Story.

I bought this DVD (Shinjuku Incident) 2 weeks ago and just watched it today after studying physics for a while. It's a very well portrayed movie, undoubtedly.

It talks about illegal Chinese immigrants trying to earn a living in Japan. Jackie Chan, Daniel Wu, Fan Bin Bin was starred in this movie.

The movie start with the chinese immigrants just earning a meagre income through random jobs, but then they encountered the 'dark side' of the city and started doing illegal stuff. (not that being there were legal for them though)

It IS violent, I didn't think that it'd be that violent when I first saw the title.

Jackie Chan didn't display alot of martial arts skill in this movie, he put on a serious face, and was serious throughout the whole movie.

What makes this movie really interesting, (though sorta disturbing for me) is how the characters slowly change as the movie goes on. From the friendly bunch, they start to change to very vicious criminals.

Daniel Wu portrayed his character really really well.

He has a really sad story, and a really sad ending.

Started from this guy :

on the right

to this guy:

sad case.

The only person who didn't change was Jackie, known as "steel head" in the movie. No spoilers here, but he didn't have a really happy life too.

Traitors

Murders

Goth

Gore

Violence

Childhood promises broke

Relationships lost

all in this movie.

It's a nice movie, but it won't make you smile at all.

Give it a try though. =)

Bday card from Singapore. =)

It's been a long time since I blogged ( feel like I've said this quite a number of times xD)

It's a week away from exams and here I am. Blogging, not when exams are far away, but when everyone is cracking their heads studying. Calling myself weird, is an understatement.

Anyway, today I received a birthday card from a friend named Jiawei that I got to know through a summer camp (Nan Hua Summercamp) last year in Singapore. *a bit of promotion here, it's an awesome camp xD*

It was really nice receiving a birthday card all the way from another country, it's my first time receiving one. Makes me feel like, even though it's been a year, some of us still keep contact.

so here are some pictures of the card

Haha, It's been 2 years since I've started going to summercamps, I went to NanHua's summercamp in 2007 and also 2008. It was a really fun experience, and also where I learned to really smile in front of the cam. haha! I also got to know a lot of friends, though a lot of us are busy with our own stuff and don't really communicate alot these days, yet the memories of having fun, working, and eating together will stay there.

In March I went to a camp in Fu Jian, China, it's only between CLHS and He Shan High. Though most of the time we were stuck in their class listening to Maths, Science and History in CHINESE, still it was a really nice experience. Sorry, my mistake, it was an AWESOME experience.

You know normally we have negative opinions on chinese from China for being rude and stuff?

EXCLUDE THE STUDENTS.

Haha, the students there were the friendliest bunch. You'd be smiling back at some student opposite the canteen without knowing who he or she is. A few of us also experienced this: walking on the school compound to find yourself suddenly asked to take a photo with some student you don't even know.

Most of us are still keeping contact, they go home only once a few weeks so we don't get to chat alot though.

We'd also be bombarded with a large amount of students in our tiny little hostel. It'd be full house and more than half the people needed to stand outside.

All in all we feel really really really welcomed.

In July it was the He Shan High's students turn to come to CLHS for a 'sorta like' camp thing.

According to them they didn't really enjoy the food, but they enjoyed the whole camp.

There was this girl 盼盼 who couldn't stop crying when she left my house to go to the airport. According to my friend she cried the whole way home. A really nice girl, *though she forced me to take photos for her throughout the 7 days xD*

I've always said to my friends that I was lucky to be able to go to so many international camps, and normally they'd perli me with : 'Use so much money leh. you rich mah'.

Haha, well actually, I think it's more worth for me to go then because for the Singapore camp I didn't pay alot, and the China camp I just paid for the air tickets, isn't it better than going yourself and paying for the hotel and food?

Actually the real worth is where I actually learnt a lot of different life styles, ed system, learn how to adapt to different places, and so on. And the best thing is I got to know a lot of friends. and I mean ALOT. some are just one time encounters, it still counts. With every different people I met from the camps I have a story to tell, how I met them, what we talked about, how we treated each other and so on.

It feels really good, knowing that at least I've been there, done that.

=)

You guys who have opportunities to attend these kinda camps should really embrace it. ;)

they're here.

Woot. The China students arrived today! Here are some pics.

KD vaining with the flowers.

Waiting for their arrival

Brendon and KD with the board and flowers

The First Glimpse.

They're here!

Oh yea

The Vice Principal of the He Shan High School

MAKAN! 

China students are coming to CLHS

Guess what. Students from China are coming to CLHS for a week!

Though I don't understand why CLHS planned these at these times(h1n1), first thai students, now China students. (i guess it was set a long time ago.)

Anyway, 11 of them are coming(8girls 3 guys ), will be staying here from the 5th of July to the 12th of July. Me, Brendond, Kai Deng and Ti yang are going to host one guy in each of our houses.

The school has also set partners for each an everyone of them. Mine'll be Ji Ping and Ping Ping. 

Anyway, there'll be pictures when they come, I'll make sure i take loads of em. 

=) 

Thailand - Chungling Interacting Day

Oh yeah, that's the national flag of Thailand alright.

Today around 40 students from Thailand came to our school (CLHS).  They were from 4 different schools that I didn't bother to remember the names 'cause they were so damn hard to pronounce.  

Around 14 of us were asked to help out with the team building and ice-breaking session. The Chinese Orchestra members were there too, around 70 of em. We actually wanted to let the last ice breaking game to bring them high, but turned out the CO members turn high p.r.e.t.t.y easily. Before the ice breaking started they were already on ecstasy mode.  Much like the scouts their high bar is quite short, some music then they're on air d. 

Anyway, first we had a game where all the participants get a small slip of paper with a word, it's either animals or characters. ec. Michael Jackson, Superman, Fish, Pig and so on.

So what they had to do was act out what they're given without making any sound, then find the team members with the same criteria. 

It was amazingly amazing to see people 'moonwalk'ing all around the hall. xD

Anyway, no pictures for now, I'll upload the pictures once I get them from Jack Jin. 

=)